Its only the beginning of Ramadhan and there's so many

 challenges and obsticles to go through. 

May Allah blessed us with every downfall he gave us. 

May there be a greater success ahead of us.

May we remain calm and go through this with no complaints. 

In Shaa Allah ader hikmah disebalik sume nie :/

Emotionally and mentally fucked up . i guess my trust issues get a hold of me. you know i never imagine myself to be like this.  sucks to know how i ruin your day with my messed up thoughts and maybe my actions too. Its never easy when you have to serve the nation and I'm here waiting. even before this i have to wait just to even talk to you. NS is never the reason. I am. I'm the kind of girl who need and wants your attention but i've never been getting it nowadays. that is maybe the reason why I'm always flaring up and argues with you. well i dont know. sometimes i think its not fair. everything's not fair. i just want my time with you. everytime we have those times its always being filled up with other things than for both of us. you always falls asleep so easily now.it tires me to see how tired you are. everynight i hold on to my tears only because you assure me that things will get better soon. I'm wondering when is that 'soon' will come. for all i know you're always missing. i dont know how to explain this feeling with words or actions so i rather just keep it to myself because whatever it is no matter how badly i want things to change it'll just never happen. I'll just have to keep on waiting and waiting. i'm trying my best not to hope for anything but i'm always hoping and my hopes always falls down to the ground. always. life's a shit and things happen for a reason. i'm still here enduring because i'm holding on to what's mine.

I'm not perfect no one is face it.

Heartbeat

Ala tayang tayang! tite tayang ayie otey ? HAHAHA!

After all the bullshits i go through all this years i finally found you. Why it takes you so long to find me ha?! In Shaa Allah he'll be the last cause there aint any better than him . His the type of guy who tolerates my stupid nonsense, fulfill my cravings, never failed to surprise me, the kind of guy who can shut me up during an arguement, shower me with unlimited supply of hugs and forehead kiss *kelipkelipmate* , his the kind of guy who will try his very best to adapt being with me and heal my broken heart. The kind of guy where my parents are able to pass down their responsibilities to. His the kind of guy that i can trust.  I hate myself for not knowing you years before this but I love the fact that we take things slow and we never give up. Even if there was a time where things turned out to be what it wasnt supposed to. Without us realising we're reaching our 7th soon. Despite cursing each other and giving shits we pulled it through. 

the kind of guy i can call MINE 

Test Test 1 2 3 !

I'm left with afew days to my final exam and im here blogging after so long hahahaha!

I lost my focus coz its been ages since i have time for my own and it felt so good that i

totally pushed aside what i have to do. Blogging used to be my daily routine till i forgot 

how to use it HAHAHA! :')

I guess i should really go and

 do my revision now :D

Life has been rather challenging . theres just too many things thats going on in my mind . pfffft !  i just want to cry my heart out right now . how i wish that every single tear drop solves everything . fat hope la az ! im fixing my broken heart thanks to him . uhuh . i couldnt explain how much i have to go thru and its only the 2nd mth of the whole entire 2012 . dayuummm ! but im so greatful that i have my family , lovelies & him always by my side hearing me out . thank you so much . im stuck . not knowing what else to do . eeeeeeee! emosi terganggu please . pffft ! stress nye dengan hidup . aru tanggung diri sendiri sia belum tanggung hal rumah tangge biler da dewase haiyaaaaaaa ! hidup nie bynk sgt cabaran . sblm emosi making terganggu nk stop je la ehk . baik da start bbual sorg pulak -.- . hahahaha az emosi terganggu da sewel da budak nie hahahahaha okay .  adios amigos, amigas :)

Wow ! i've been abandoning my blog for sooooo long . gosh ! well its been a very hactic year for me this year . met new friends , new loves , new jobs , new cliques , new experience ouh ouh ! and a new baby in our family , yar everything also new lah . anw , i just have this feeling of wanting to blog again , so yar i shall blog more often. bare in mind most of it i bet its gona be emotional entries . hahaha emogirl_94@longtimenoblog.com haiya haiya . there's so much i want to write. its fasting month now , well selamat berpuasa dan selamat berpuasa ye . 

Awesome

Ilyas , Hani & Kiki .

I've known them way back , about 4 years ago . We've gone thru lots of shits together , good & bad . You guys thought me what life is .

Ilyas ;

You've been the one who will always get me back on track whenever i lost my way.The one who would talk some shit into me . He's the one who would rescue me from my darkess daydream .Never stop to motivate me to continue studying eventhough he knws its too late. Even late nights , he'll be there helping me whenever im in doubts or having problems. A guy who prove to me that people do change as time goes by like how he did . I'm proud that i got a best-boy-bestfriend like him :)

Hani ;

You've been the one who never fail to lend me your listening ear.The one who would always ask me to think positive and never give up.She's the one who would helped me out whenever my brains stop working.Will try her very best to be there for me in times of needs.She'll be the one chasing of my boredom everytime in class with her random text msges. A girl who prove to me that girls can be as strong to handle heartbreaks and to handle complicated love life like how she did. I'm proud to have the best sister like her :)

Kiki ;

You've been the one who would keep my deepest darkest secrets.The one who knows me the best , be it my worst attiude ever or the best ever.He's the one who would get me pissed off and made me reflect back what i've done.Always there when i need a punching bag or when i need someone to nag at hehe.He'll be the one trying his best to cheer me up whenever im feeling down.A boy who prove to me that no matter how hard you fall down you'll always be able to get up again like how he did.I'm proud to have the best brother like him :)

Thanks for every single advice you guys gave me , the naggings and such . I admit i can be really troublesome at times but you guys will never leave me alone in my darkest days in schools.Thanks for spending every single memorable moments with me guys.You guys were there accepting me back after all the shits i've gone through pissing everyone of , being a fool.No matter what happen you people were there picking me , fixing me back when i've fallenn into pieces.You guys are the best of the best and i love you for that .Never will anyone break our friendship apart. I love you guys so damn freaking much :')

Love;

ajoya nicanora 

Been a very long period of time since i blogged . N levels are just afew days away , im freaking nervous , scared :(  and so my days were spent studying with cliques . awesome bunch of people who make studying fun . i love you guys kay  kay :)

Boy ,

just because i refused to meet you , i refuse to contact with you , you got pissed and try to show everyone arh ? tskkkk ! i admit , iive made the biggest mistake of my life , i realised that . thats mainly the reason why i left you , coz i dont want to do any stupid things . tskkk !  im turning a new leaf okay , i dun want to be like last time . clinging on to you but im going nowhere . to hell with the pass . its 2010 now , let bygones be bygones boy . im leading my life happily . i tot you said it yourself you ant me to be happy , and so i am . so why are you behaving in this manner ? if you would have been good to me we wont be in this stage rite now , its almost a year and yet you still keep holding on to your grudges ? please , go  away :'(

 i've gone thru enuf hurt . i've suffer too much sufferings . because of your actions we're in this stage its not my fault . i endure with you for so long . i've apologised once for leaving but i have to . and you know why . now please succeed in your future or what and stop bothering williams please :(

dun troubled her , she's already stressed up .  i dun want bcoz of me she'll be more pressurised.enuf is enuf . you had your chances back then you blewed it away . so .. good luck .

Its been a chaotic week , been hearing stupid things , never ending . D&T deadline is veryvery near and what the hell im here blogging while D&T not fully completed . haiya azura ! well its coz i cant draw contextual drawing at nyte , mengantok you know . Nvm , D&T students , lets make mr ethan wong proud ! eventho his not there with us taking our theory paper , far far away at melbourne lets make him smile people :)

After school normal routine ;  study with cliques at school library . Had lots of laughter with them so blaja pun tak boring lar kan . So been working hard on my maths , aiming for better marks for prelim two and prelim three . focus focus focus ! gaaaaahhhhhh ! must score better than prelim one . must make improvements ! must work harder everyday ! well its been said ; action speaks louder than words . im gona show mr terence wong that i can do it :)

Sometimes , people should never get involve in a situation whereby its not meant for them to know . coz its not their battefield , its not their war . people who tend to get involve in other people's problems will only make it worst rite ? haiya . don't be the spark of a problem that's already been closed can ? coz in the end you'll be the one getting into big troble nanti leceh lar . tired of all this . Just a waste of time . lets all let it go and focus on our studies aites ? coz the spark to this will not have to sit for any major exams , sbb tu bynk mase nak api-apikan keadaan . bulan bulan puase nie , baik baik lar sikit :)

` keeping close to heart to late granny's words ;

 'biar orang uat kite jangan kite uat orang'

its 2am and im still wide awake hmmm . see that picture ? yeah yeah kungfukun ! hahaha . this movie is super damn cute cute . that kid there is kung fu . cute name kan hahaha . and yes you got to watch it , it'll definitely brighten up your day . he look sooo adorable in every scene you know . im sure you'll feel like pinching him . so i watched this show erm last week ? yeah . been wanting to update bout this but super lazy . heh heh heh . so we had karate kid . now kung fu kid then ape lagi ? omg adorable sesgt ! haha .

didnt attend school today due to high fever & a bad sore throat . haiya . was to submit my dnt folio today and so i had to troubled dear iqa & afiq to help me out . nyeheheheh tanx krg.so i slept my whole entire day , mcm pig ehk . hmmm at around 12 i guess linsa baby called , was'nt able to accompany her . how to when im myself tak larat hahaha. sorry dear , kite sick same2 kay ? hahaha . and so i had to miss a meet with kiki today , boo hoo ! nvm shall make it up to all yar . okay golek ,nk go siap-siap soon, buka at nani's house ^^

For so long i've not been updating this blog . since williams so bising ask me update , i shall update for you aites ? kay . hmm lets see .  celebrated national day last fri . enjoyed myself , really tak tipu . havoc habesan . bros brought their own flag frm home . cute ! as celebrations were goin on , afew sec4 students ran up the stage .  i rmbrd it was frank,afiq,fahim,ikh,shahid,dickson,tianshou,aiksoon,ding en,iqa,hani,myself,mimi,suba,valar,raagini and afew i wasnt able to rmbr . hahaha okay havoc . NDP celebration done we went off to JP with williams & farrell . slack for awhile yada yada yada so off we went to chinese garden for our cross country .

Met the rest there , start the run . so yar , i paitao farrell,williams&hayati. sorry deh . i tot everything was done skali aft they've reached the finishing line .. kebabooom ! i was all drenched . hahahaha . so yar then had dinner at mr teh tarik . then bused home . and yes someone called while on my way home , it made my day aft a long and tiring day *wink2*

Been chit chating with williams this past few days  as her awesome wasnt around . i guess she'll be doing her own stuff aft awesome's back :(  boo hoo ! lately i've made farrell merajukk . super duper sorry deh . ur post later bochui i very very shy lar *kelip kelip mate* i treat you buke kay farrell ? =)

Wasnt able to tag along ystd , everything happens for a reason :)

going out later so yar nt feeling so good . oh melts ! you see you're getting btr as im getting worst . chey mcm phm lar azura .. hahaha. well rindunye bdk conf . it was gd catching up with you guys . felt like old times.

And so tmrw da start puase . ohmygod . puase blm start da plan buke with krg krg sume hahaha . smgt buke nye ktrg . hahaha. okay lar williams i've updated okay ? :) dont ask me update lagi tau . it'll take another few weeks to do so hahaha. adios amigos/amigas .

HAPPY 67 MTHS

TRESSES !!! ♥

i love you girls so very much much *wink2*

taylor is my all time favourite & booboo just made my list .

huhu ! his effing cute too .

kan kan kan ? hahaha .

so our school celebrated racial harmony in advance.

im super duper lazy to blog so afew pictures will do yar ?

more on my fb SOON .    :)

D&T students :)

Sadly our dear Mr Wong left to melbourne ystd nyte :'(

eventually he left us in a period of time where all of us in need of him really much . haiya . well his the best D&T teacher , its a great loss to see him fly off . booo ! but nevertheless he'll be back nxt yr with a greater knowledge . gd luck cher , may you succeed in whatever you want to achieve there yar :)

there's always room for improvement rite?

 my student improve , siap smily face.

taadaaaaaaa ! =D

haluuuuuuuuuu ! i've got nth to post ,

but i want show you guys my dear cousin's

masterpiece hahahaha . cute !

 see that picture above ? huhu ! that was syam's epic failure !

 hahaha . he attempted to write hello , but it was like ............. nvm hahahaha .

see this one ? his second attempt , better lar rite . legible . hahaha

so cute kan , i become like nursery teacher ask him rewrite hahaha .

potential teacher arh hehehe .

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY !

To my dearest dad , happy father's day !! thanks for being the greatest dad anyone could have asked for . the best of the best . you've provided the family with everything we needed . you've disciplined me really well . im sorry if i've nt been behaving myself , i know i've disappoint you alot . like really alot . His been there supporting me in whatever i do , his the one who would talk to my mom whenever she wont allow me to do stuffs . The one who motivates me to keep on striving for what i aimed for . thanks for the love and concern dad . i love you .